Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize