I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
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There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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