i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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