never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize