This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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