Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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