I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize