I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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