This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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