u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
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They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
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Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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