apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize