I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize