Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.

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  (313): so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it. http://tfl.nu/rth5
  Replies (1) Good night (2719) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps

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  (904): i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps http://tfl.nu/x84f
  Replies (85) Good night (6214) Bad night (418) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again

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  (248): The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again http://tfl.nu/1sak
  Replies (15) Good night (1039) Bad night (4674) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.

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  (203): There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper. http://tfl.nu/r5h8
  Replies (11) Good night (2970) Bad night (1690) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12

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  (573): Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12 http://tfl.nu/xbs4
  Replies (12) Good night (3646) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.

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  (613): Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground. http://tfl.nu/deou
  Replies (9) Good night (2444) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?

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  (518): Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation? http://tfl.nu/dtaz
  Replies (11) Good night (2118) Bad night (2321) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will

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  (530): I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will http://tfl.nu/u061
  Replies (4) Good night (3258) Bad night (606)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked

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  (613): who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked http://tfl.nu/fbnh
  Replies (4) Good night (2502) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.

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  (630): Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren. http://tfl.nu/fimu
  Replies (12) Good night (1897) Bad night (1477) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes

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  (812): Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes http://tfl.nu/54ik
  Replies (8) Good night (590) Bad night (1917) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.

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  (+44): I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though. http://tfl.nu/88hx
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (1275) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?

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  (914): Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun? http://tfl.nu/1gt4
  Replies (10) Good night (2177) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.

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  (775): No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon. http://tfl.nu/9xyw
  Replies (7) Good night (1507) Bad night (385) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"

  (406): View more from Montana

  Midwestern nice.

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  (608): He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!" (406): Midwestern nice. http://tfl.nu/grmw
  Replies (10) Good night (2815) Bad night (667)

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