Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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