i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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