2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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