So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize