I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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