I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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