Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
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You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
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They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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