a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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