last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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