Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
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I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
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Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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