Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
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I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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