Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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