I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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