the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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