There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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