Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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