The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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