I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize