His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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