I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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