I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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