happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize