Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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