I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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