Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize