Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize