Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize