Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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