he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize