Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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