Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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