i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize