Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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