I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize