ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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