I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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