After last night, I could never be a politician.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize